Episode 16 - Transcript

On Humanizing the Workplace with Vivian Acquah

Hello. My name is Benjamin Reitzammer and you’re listening to the CTO coffee podcast, each city or coffee episode features in you and special guests with whom I have a relaxed chat about all kinds of different aspects of humans and tech. And today I’m very excited about my guests. I’m talking to Vivian Acquah, an independent workplace wellness advocate from Amsterdam Vivian’s mission is to make the world a better place for all and future generations. And she tackles that by humanizing the workplace. And with that, I give the mic to Vivian. So welcome Vivian.

Thanks Benjamin for this introduction and for having me on your podcast. Um, my name is Vivian Aqua, and I have to admit, I just turned 40, even though I don’t look like it. I am a workplace wellness advocate, helping companies, helping managers, creating a workplace where people can try. So creating a workplace where the employees can be engaged, they feel safe and feel, um, feel heard in the, in the workplace. So. What can I share about myself? It’s my son’s birthday today. He’s turning seven. And the reason why I am sharing him in this podcast is because it’s all started with him. It started my journey as a workplace wellness advocate started with him because I wanted to create a better workplace environment. So that by the time that he becomes an adult, that he doesn’t. Have to deal with the BS that I have dealt with as a, during my journey in the corporate world. So, uh, what else can I share? I’m an very vocal on LinkedIn. I have a podcast or LinkedIn live. I have a podcast as well. It’s called let’s humanize the workplace where I’m talking to different experts about what is needed, uh, to create a humanized workplace. And my mission is really to create the best workplaces that we, we humans need. That’s it.

That’s pretty, pretty much, I guess. That’s that’s a lot. Um, yeah. Thank you for also taking the time today, especially on your son’s birthday. Um, They’re special.

Yeah, it is very special, but so we’ll celebrate, celebrate. After, uh, in school we woke up 6:00 AM this morning and we started unwrapping the presents. So he got some Lego and he got some, um, yeah, he got something really cool. I don’t know how to translate it from Dutch to English. So I’ll say it’s something really cool. And, uh, the big. Party will be on Saturday with his friends where we are going to jump. Yay.

Cool. Very nice. Um, I’m sure he’ll love that. Um, yeah. So when we first get, um, get to know each other, um, what kind of stood out to me a bit? I mean, among lots of things obviously is your, um, tries of words when you describe your. Work. Um, and from one workplace wellness advocate, um, at least I haven’t heard that before, but also that you, um, yeah. Often use the word humanized, but a human to humanize workplaces. And, um, I think that’s an interesting trend of, yeah, like I said, already. Interesting choice of words. Um, And yeah. What, what does this mean for you? Like what is, what is a humanized workplace as opposed to. Not humanized or

A de-humanize workplace. Yeah. So the reason why I came up with a humanize the workplace is because I’ve been in situations and it’s really horrible. Um, but I’ve been in situations where I was too humanized. And when I’m talking about to humanize, then I’m also referring to different isms. That I’ve dealt with with in the workplace. So it can be racism, discrimination, um, uh, sexism, unfortunately. Um, and I wanted to create, um, something or a word combination where people can really understand without being confronted. That they were a certain person. So I’m talking about a racist or that there was racism because when you start using that word, people hold up a wall and then it’s hard to have a conversation about that. So I have a conversation about being dehumanized or humanized and, um, that’s okay. So that’s what, what, what made me came up with a thing and. So share a little bit about my story, because I feel like I need to be totally honest here a while ago when George Floyd died a few days later, or I think a few weeks later, because I needed to recover from what I saw in television as well. I wrote an article about dismantling five ways to do mental racism. And in that article, I shared that. I had different experiences where the microaggression was felt as a microaggression. So I repeat that again. A microaggression can be. A macroaggression for the person who was the victim. I explained to it. And I don’t know if the listeners realized that a killer B is the deputy B that we have in the planet on the planet because they don’t sting. They don’t sing alone. They sting with the whole family. And that’s how I felt when I had to deal with a microaggression in the workplace. It’s not one person that’s doing it. There are a lot of people that are doing it. And, uh, during the day or during the week or during the month and each time that somebody is, uh, sharing that with you or making you feel small or making you feel not valuable at all that microaggression is felt on a macroaggression. And if you’re not, eventually your wall of protection will break and it will crumble you so much that you start doubting yourself. At least I did. I did that in my early twenties where I did something. That I’m not proud of, but I’m sharing right now that would make me disappear and I’m happy that it didn’t go through, but the words and the actions, when it comes to dealing with microaggression or being, you know, very aggressive in the workplace can be very hard for the person that receives it. So please be very. Mindful of how you treat another person. Yeah. And that’s why I’ve been having this conversation about how, what is it, what, what do we need to humanize the workplace? Because for me personally, is to treat each other as human as possible. Treat your you’re the next one, that the way you want to be treated. So for me, it’s very important to have day lights in my room, in the workplace that I’m working for me. It’s very important to have my big bowl jar tea. Uh, because I need, so I need to hydrate myself as well during the work day. For me, it’s also important to have good food because working with good food is you don’t want to see me hangry. It’s not productive at all. Right. And another thing that is also important is having the sense of feeling that you’re outside. Even though you’re working inside. So I, when you look at my image or when you see me during my life, I have a beautiful flower. I have a beautiful face plan though, but it creates that feeling of being outside, but still be inside. And that to me is a humanized workplace. I’m curious about you, Ben, to me, what is your ideal humanized workplace?

Um, first of all, thank you. Thank you for that. Um, for sharing, um, that part of your story, um, yeah, a humanized workplace. Um, so view you’ve already touched on more mentioned some things that, uh, that I would also, um, take up for myself for it. Adopt for myself. Um, and yeah, I think the biggest of these is, um, is yeah. Being seen. Um, I think he also used that word, um, and in that is also, um, more part of that is being seen by others, but also. Kind of expecting maybe not demanding, but expecting at least at times, um, genuine interest from others in who I am as a person like that. Everybody has to be friends with me or best friends or everybody has to like me. That’s not it, but he had genuine interest or a genuine interest in, in me as a, as a human simply like, um, Yeah. Well, well thinking about that, um, does this mind sound similar, like to empathy? Um, so me requesting or expecting empathy from others, but it’s, it’s something different. I don’t, I mean, it’s nice to be, um, yeah. To be met with empathy, but I feel like people who show. Again, same word. She knew an interest in me and, and others, of course. Um, not only I would like to be, I would like to work in a place, um, and, um, in a community and a company that, um, where people, of course, um, have this interest for each other. And again, it’s not about friendship or me liking what you like or, um, what other things like these, but. Yeah. Seeing, I think this gene for me, um, this, this kind of interest is really like the, like the basis of this, seeing it, the other is human. Um, I really wouldn’t want to know about your son and about your life and, um, this yeah. Helps me at least. And, um, To, to see people as human. Um, which sounds like that. Otherwise it’s kind of , but

I can totally understand you’re talking about people leaving them masks off right because we are not robots. We come to work with our full self, our whole self. And if we’re not allowed to do that, or if we are working in environments where. It’s not safe to bring our whole selves. Then you’re only seeing a small part of that person. And I truly believe that we are. People have weird emotions. So that means when, especially when you are a parent, you, you must know inside out, you have to know inside out, or otherwise Google it on YouTube or find out on YouTube. There is this Disney movie that showcases a journey of a teenager who is going through phases because her parents are moving and, um, the emotions are being played out and. Sadness is not something where sadness doesn’t well, it’s not allowed to play a role, but sadness is playing a huge part. I mean, I can cry, happy tears. I can cry aside tears without these emotions. It wouldn’t be me. And the same goes for the workplace as well. We need those emotions to be there so that people can understand that we are not clowns or the time we are, you know, we’re humans.

Yeah. And that’s not always like robots with like a, like I’m the same level of productivity all the time, but there are things like, um, has you mentioned, for example, like seeing, um, black people getting shot on videos on social media, it could being shared on social media and there are so many things by now. Um, like the world is in chaos too. Say the least. And so, yeah, we’re confronted with hard things to cope with and everybody has, um, yeah. Different, different aspects to which they react strongly. Um, and that’s yeah, can affect not only your productivity, but to your. Yeah, me talking about productivity seems like this is like

the I mean, I can, I can help you. It can affect your mental health. It can affect your joy for life. It can affect not only your work life, but also your home life. Right. Especially see now when we are all working from home, most of the time seeing our family 24 seven. And if you don’t have. Uh, let’s say that you are chatting lunch when it comes to mental health. Let’s say that you are challenged because of the stress that you’re, you, you have a stressful work or a stressful life. You are bringing that home as well. And maybe your children, or maybe your loved ones are feeding that. And maybe it can, you know, it can hurt. And I hope not. But people need to realize that the work has a huge impact on people’s mood, on their personal life. And the personal life has a huge impact on them work life. So why not marry needs two? Why not integrate too? Why not be yourself? In the workplace and encourage others to be themselves in the workplace. You never know what kind of similarities you might find, even though we’re different. There are so many similarities where you can meet each other halfway and have a conversation about that as well.

When you say like intertwine on Q didn’t say that, but marinates,

I talk about food a lot. That’s good. They have a cooking show. So I talk about a lot. I use a lot food terms in my conversations with

people. Yeah. But while we’re, while you mentioned, like marinating one in the other, um, like what’s, what’s your opinion on this work life balance concept?

I don’t believe in work life balance because, um, I believe in the work life integration where your family is integrated in your work life and vice versa. When you’re talking about balance, I mean, I cannot control my son. You know, he wakes up at five or he wakes up at six when he was smaller, especially when it was a spring, because, because of the sun coming up early for him, it was just like, it’s daytime babies, ladies, parents, 10 up wake up. Now I’m like grumpy because I need my. You know, it’s seven, at least seven hours of sleep, but I’m used to it that he’s a morning person. And sometimes I want to wake up in the morning early and get my work done so that I can finish early and picking up from the day. Or I go a little bit later because my partner is bringing him to school or bringing him somewhere else. So we need to be flexible because we cannot plan. Or schedule our lives 365 days because events happen. Life happens. Maybe you have lost the loss or you have lost, lost a loved one during this whole pandemic. Or maybe you’re going to financial challenges because of this pandemic, or maybe you are pivoting in your career. So many challenges that people are facing that. We need to be flexible and we need to integrate, and we need to also know that you can never plan your, your life. I’m planning. I am planning on a weekly basis and still I have to deal with the challenges because if my son is, uh, has a coat, he has to stay home, not go to school anymore. So I have to be flexible around that as well. Yeah.

Yeah. I’m, I’m totally agree with that. Um, still there, sometimes these, um, Yeah, cries for, um, or old saying, but it’s important to like delineate, like to really shut off work at some point.

I know. I totally believe that. No, I totally believe that. So by me saying integration, I’m not saying to you that you should work from nine to ten, you should shut off. Your computer or shut off your work life and then, you know, switch smoothly over to your personal life because we need that time to recharge. If we don’t use that time to recharge, or if we don’t invest in ourself care, then comes the stress. Then it comes, it builds up towards. Burnout and, uh, having a burnout or recovering from, it’s not easy. It’s not something that you want to do. So I want to encourage you to be very mindful, not only of yourself, but also of your colleagues also have each other. Don’t kidnap people by zooming all the time, because we need to do our zooms mindfully.

Yeah. And there we are, again, like at the humanist workplace, it’s like understanding where everybody’s coming from, what their, what their energy levels are at times. Yeah. He didn’t, he used the word recharged does know, and yeah, that’s very important. And also like a skill that’s that. That’s hard too, to come by in a way when like, you know, nobody teach me at least me, um, like how to manage my energy levels. Yeah.

It’s something that is not taught in schools. And that’s why I believe it’s also, yes, it’s a responsibility of the employee, but it’s, I feel like it’s also a responsibility of the employer to provide certain toolkits. Uh, not by having an alarm, but at least a thing that I mostly share is encourage your people to use a Pomodoro app so that they work for 25 minutes. Take a break for five minutes. And then after I think after four times taking a five minute break or during the 25 minute cycle, then you can have a longer break because it’s switch issue from being, you know, stuck in your creativity mode. And when you are. Being in that creativity mode for too long, you start having no ideas anymore. You start being uncreative, you start being unproductive. And we need the times in between to boost ourselves, to recharge ourselves and to become more creative, more innovative, because sometimes you need to, I said, you need to let things marinate. I mean, when you look at, you know, the best barbecues they are marinating for at least 12 hours, And it’s soaked in, why are we not doing the same with ourselves? Sometimes an idea needs to marinate. Sometimes you need to marinate yourself or recharge ourselves so that the next day you have fresh ideas and you become the best barbecue meat or something.

I don’t want to land on a grill and totally subscribed to that motion. Yeah. That’s a good thing too, to let things marinade ideas, marinate, and um, for me, that’s also like my way of working the most. Um, yeah, most of the time working best like to do a small steps, wait a little bit, um, revisit that whatever idea of concept and then spend a little bit more time on it. Let it marinate again and so on. That’s

all in a way in the agile world. You all the agile world is you working like that. And the rest of the world who is not familiar with the agile way of working isn’t. We have a, we are using ourselves like we have a Duracell battery, or we have a battery that’s nonstop and forgetting that we need to recharge, especially now that you know, we’re going into the fall where we have missed on lights. And by having this sunlight or spending this time I’m outdoors, you’re not recharging your batteries. And therefore it can also be that you might have be having sleep problems or you might be having some problems to concentrate, or maybe you having a bad day and that bad day turns into more bad days. And that more bad days turns into a slight, a minor, a minor depression. Yeah. And it all starts with us not putting ourselves.

Yeah. Good point. So, um, yeah, one thing about you, we haven’t touched at all yet. Um, is that, um, here organizing an event, an online summit, I think you call it, um, called . Um, Tell us a little bit about it. Like, what is it, what, what I trained to do?

So amplify DEI, uh, inspired by my son. And the reason why I’m mentioning that is because when I explained to him why. Uh, George Floyd died and a six year old there, he was seeing the videos of the death of George Ford. I tried to shield him from it, but here in the Netherlands, I don’t know why they kept showing that video over and over again on the news. And without any trigger warning. And to me watching that video every time it’s a horror movie. So we started deciding to have a conversation with him regarding George Flloyd. He first asked me other questions. His father is Dutch and I’m Ghanaian. And I started sharing from my perspective and told him barely that George Floyd died because of the color of his skin. And my son asked me this question, not about him, but about his mother. If somebody’s going to hurt you. And I had to tell him a white lie, because I don’t know if, if somebody, I cannot guarantee my safety, but the last thing that I want him to do is to be worried about my safety. No, six year old, no child should be worried about their parents’ safety. So a week after I noticed that Alexis Ohanian, who is the husband or Alexis Ohanian, you might know him from Reddit. And if you don’t know him from Reddit, then you know that he’s the hospital of Serena Williams and they have a daughter together. Who’s also called Alexis. Um, and he stepped up from Reddit. He gave up his sports, uh, seek member or where he gave us his Bazzi. So that. He can answer to his daughter when she starts asking, what did you do to do something during this movement? And this is his answer. So he gave up his seat for a person of color, and that caught me. Thinking about. What can I do because I don’t have the budget or Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, but I know that I can be impactful in my own way. And I was thinking about a proverb. Um, there is an African proverb that says, and I’m going to look it up. Give me, give me one moment so I can look the proverb because I do feel it’s important to share this program. If you think you are too small to make a difference. Try sleeping with a mosquito. It does make sense. Right?

So yeah,

without a mosquito net, the mosquito will win. And I want to be that mosquito to amplify diversity, equity and inclusion, because I am tired of having the same conversations over and over again. And it’s the time that. We need to move the needle when it comes to diversity, equity and inclusion. I know that I was talking about race before, but there was a lot more work to be done and to incorporate the race discussion or incorporate, you know, the inclusion or the equity discussion. I need to bring all the diversity challenges in and, uh, and bring all the people in who are sharing valuable insights from different diversity experts to bring them in because to create this ripple effect that I w that I’m, uh, that I’m hoping that I’m creating together with other people. I need my fellow applicants. So I asked them. Again, I’m using quotes. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village. We have to move this needle and to create that ripple effect as a mosquito. Again, I am. I am an introvert. I can sometimes be an ambivert from time to time, but I used to make myself small. And also to give you some perspective, I’m very tall. I’m 1 meter, 86 without heels. So I’m very tall, but I made myself small and that’s something that is, um, an effect of the workplaces that I’ve been in. Not being seen, not being valued, not being heard. And. I want to, I need to do this. I need to do this. Not only for this generation, but especially for my son’s generation, because I confessed during this podcast that I almost ended my life because of the isms that I face in the workplace. And I don’t want my son to deal with abnormal. We are done. I’m done. So that’s amplified DEI wear. Not only I, but 70 Otter speakers are going to share the insights to move you towards action. All the talks are actionable content, actionable tips, actionable steps to move the needle. That’s it. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you again for sharing all of that. Um, so, um, the event is called amplify DEI. Um, so I guess, um, yeah, some more, most of my listeners have heard the term like DE&I like diversity and inclusion and, um, yeah, DEI is tending for a diversity equity and inclusion. Like how. How is that different from, let’s say, plain, plain diversity and inclusion to you? Um, what, what is the equity in that part and that part?

So the equity is another way for everybody starting at, um, giving, providing everybody the tool so that everybody has the, the same platform or the same level. Because I don’t know if you have seen them movie or a scene, a short video where a coach was sharing a few questions. So he students, and there were diverse students among the way. So every time that he was sharing a question, he was asking questions. Like, did you have a mentor during your scholarship? Yeah, you are you born with a white parents? All these questions were questions where people can move a step forward or take a step backwards. When questions like, were you born in a, uh, in a suburb or were you born in a certain area where it’s socially, economically low? You have to realize, not everybody has the same starting point as you. Yes, we are all born on the same date and up to a certain age, everything is the same. But when we, the, from the moment that we start going to kindergarten from the moment that we start going to school, you see certain people have. Advantages privileges over other people. And that’s where the equity comes in. It’s not always the same for everybody, but with equity parts, you can create, um, you can create. Let’s say you can create a creates so that people can stand on it. And that everybody’s leveled. Right? I told you I’m 1 meter 86 and yeah, there are people that are smaller. There are people that are taller, but to create that same length so that everybody can see what I see, you need to provide the equity part.

Yeah. Yeah. That of course makes a lot of sense of that. I think that kind of video that you were talking about, like, like a privilege test, um, I, I guess it’s called aura. There are even like online tests like that, or you can do it for yourself and, um, yeah. So when yeah, talking about amplify, the, I also shared that, um, The talks and, um, the advocates who will speak at the event. yeah,

it’s Europe it’s um, I think also Asia it’s Africa, America, South America, even. So,

so people from, from really literally all over the world

yeah. All over, it’s an international conversation that we’re having. Yeah.

Um, yeah. And you were saying the, um, the speakers will share lots of actionable advice. I mean, you, of course, don’t wanna like. Take away too much from, from the event, but simply based on your like, experience also as a yeah. Workplace wellness advocate, help us with, um, what are the most common like errors or misconceptions that you see with your clients when it comes to. DEI like how maybe like the first steps people or companies, teams can take to tackle these.

I can definitely share some of the snippets. So, um, in my tagline for the events. I am saying that, you know, implementing DEI strategies should not be used as a one night stand. It’s not a one training, one off training where you might think that, okay, now you have done the DEI training. Now everything is settled. And now we are socially aware. No, you have to train that the eye muscle. So that, you know, you can really see that the eye muscle on your, on your arms or somewhere in your brain. Um, it takes time for people to understand where, what, what biases are. It takes time to create that safe environment. And it also takes time to, to move people from the gender diversity and gender diversity. It’s playing out for white women. Not for other minorities. And that’s also the reason why I’m doing this. I want to display the difference, the different options regarding diversity and inclusion so that we help companies. We help internal cause we help managers. We help HR to make that decision wherever diversity did want to work on, we have an actionable step. I don’t have diversity options where that’s a challenge that I have to tackle for next year. Well, for my first I do have 19 options regarding diversity. So there is a lot, there is a law regarding dealing, dismantling racism, or dealing with biases or implementing the strategies or setting up a mentorship program so that you can enhance. Uh, and enhance, or make, make it, um, and hence the equity part within the company. That’s what we have here. Yeah,

Yeah, you used that word awareness just now and one thing, which I find very, um, I mean, and, and I’m saying that coming from a white male perspective, so, um, whatever is hard for me is much, much harder for possibly you, for example. Um, but really creating awareness. Um, yeah. When, whenever talking about, um, This whole broad range of topics DEI, um, I’ve I find it hard to, to sometimes discuss this with some people, because they have like this unshare, like this foundational belief that yeah. We live in a world that we’re yeah. Which is nuts, um, equal for everyone we’re in that everyone is coming from the same starting point, as you said earlier, um, Some of them. And I almost find that like the hardest part too, to really share that with people and for them to, I mean, the sounds, sounds a bit like I really want to push people into this foundational belief, but at the other, on the other hand, if they don’t share that, but they seem to believe we are, of course everybody’s coming. I mean, we’re not living in the 19th century anymore. Um, Yeah. That’s that, I’ve found is usually like the hardest part, because once you’ve got that kind of yeah, of course. Um, yeah, Black people, um, have it harder, um, to say the least, um, and send other minorities. Um, yeah, art is art at large disadvantage and, and all that.

It’s not an easy, it’s not an easy conversation to have. And for me, um, I don’t talk. I, before George, Floyd’s talking about racism, especially here in the Netherlands. It’s not a dumb thing, especially with those who aren’t ready to have these conversations, but after the death of George Freud, I have to speak up. And if it’s annoying somebody, or if people don’t want to hear that they are not my audience. So sometimes you need to also choose the advocating battles. You have to choose the conversation because talking about diversity should never be a battle. It should be a conversation where somebody is open to listen and learn and are not ready yet. Then it’s not up to you to never force it because they don’t, they won’t adopt it. The only way that I want companies to. Lifts their bars is to really work towards the anti-racism policy and strategy and for the leaders to walk their talk, because you cannot only do social media promotion and say that you support blackout Tuesday or you support black lives matter on social media and then create a certain social awareness whilst different management, layers and board layers. Are whites or aren’t diverse or aren’t showing the different aspects of what the world is or what your country is. Right. I want to be seen, I want to be heard and by not having a person of color or a woman or somebody else with a different background there, it’s hard to be seen and be heard. And also know that I was. Not only the Black person, most of the time in the workplace, but I was mostly a black woman in the workplace. So, I’m not only dealing with my blackness. I’m also dealing with the fact that I’m a woman and there comes to intersectionality that there are so many layers for people that we need to raise more awareness regarding who people are, what they are, and start meeting them in the middle as a human.I’m human first.

Yeah, that’s again. So, so powerful and also beautiful. Um, what’d you said about, um, yeah, talking about diversities. It’s not a battle or should not be a pedal, a conversation. Um, that’s really it. And it kind of reminds me in I’m probably, absolutely not the first person who’s to say that, um, But it’s really reminded me of this kind of like change, I think, change management curve or whatever it’s called. Like of course you have to like find your early adopters first have to identify them, have to bring them on board. Um, via conversation of course, but that’s like forcing them and then, um, yeah, and so on, like with every, like with every other change, um, we have to, um, It’s not really a fight, but it’s really about like having conversations and bringing people on board. I tend to find who can support you, who wants to support you and then going from there. Yeah.

I mean, it’s not it’s I know that you, we, we all cannot undo what happened 400 years ago. That’s not our mission. The only mission that I have is to. Raise awareness regarding what happened to the past and why the past is still shackling us from, from advancing. And I’m not saying that it’s impossible because there are so many, you know, uh, good role models that have shown that it’s possible, but in the workplace, it plays out in a sneaky way where people don’t realize that they’re being held back because of their gender because of their religion. Because of their sexual orientation because of their race. And I’m just saying enough is enough right now. And also the youth. When you, when you look at the millennials, they are done, they are, they are so done. And that’s also the reason why they don’t stay in that long in a workplace, because they want to have a workplace where they can feel valued as a human.

Yeah, and there we’re going full circle. I mean, that’s also what we want and even so I’m, I confess I’m 41, so almost same age as you. So, um, yeah, even though we’re not millennials, we also want that and I’m working to, to fix that. Um, yeah, so we already talked for quite a bit. Um, time really went fast. Um, To me, this was like super interesting. Yeah, I feel very thankful for you to share all of that. Um, what you shared with us with the listeners and. Thank you. Thank you simply.

I’m grateful for you having me in this podcast and also grateful for you to, you know, challenge me with your questions because, um, it’s an important topic. And my mission isn’t done. I have a long way to go, and I am grateful that you are supporting me by interview during this interview. And, um, thank you for having me.

My pleasure. Oh, have a great day. And also great birthday for your son. See you at Amplify DEI.